Having Trouble Relaxing?

If you are like me, every time I decide to do something just for me, I have a flash of all the things that I should be doing instead. Since my to-do list is quite long, I have to fight the urge to postpone that relaxing walk or leisure reading to get something done on my list. After all, I’ve seen the research on the importance of self-control and self-regulation in obtaining long-term goals.

However, I just read a study that caused me to think differently about taking time to do things just for fun or for relaxation. A recent study shows that people’s capacity to experience pleasure or enjoyment contributes at least as much to a happy and satisfied life as does self-control. For example, this study found that when people are distracted by thinking about things they should be doing during times of relaxation or recreation, they may be undermining the benefits of these times. The study also found that those who can fully enjoy relaxation and recreation activities tend to have a higher sense of well-being in the short-term and are less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety (Bernecker & Becker, 2020). Furthermore, the researchers found that pursuing activities just for fun or relaxation does not conflict with achieving long-term goals, but provides a much-needed balance in our lives.

This is an important topic for us to consider especially as more of us are working from home, where the environment where we rest is suddenly also the place where we work. Because of this, we are more likely to be thinking of all the things we need to do while we are trying to relax. One of the ways we can combat this tendency is to plan our time and set limits for both work and “off-duty time”. The thought here is that this type of planning helps us to focus our attention in the present. That is, when we are working, we are not focused on fun time. And, when we are “off-duty” we are not thinking about work or our to-do list.

Of course, this requires us to have control over our wandering attention, which is no easy task. To help you gain more control over your attention, so you can be productive at both your work and enjoying your time off, we are featuring a couple of exercises to help you get started.

Reference

Bernecker, Katharina & Becker, Daniela (2020). Beyond Self-Control: Mechanisms of Hedonic Goal Pursuit and Its Relevance for Well-Being. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167220941998