Finding Gratitude in Crisis
With Thanksgiving and the beginning of the holiday season, we are constantly reminded to turn our attention toward celebrating the good things in our lives with gatherings of family and friends. However, this year will be different. Most of the things we have done in the past will drastically change. Because of this, many of us might be having difficulty finding reasons to feel grateful. With this in mind, I decided to share a personal story to offer a little inspiration or a spark in finding your special reasons for being grateful.
A little more than three weeks ago, I tested positive for COVID-19. The first question that everyone asked when I shared my news was, "How did that happen? You have been so careful." Of course, what is likely behind this question is really “what does that mean for me if this can happen to you?”. Based on the timing, the only feasible way I contracted it was at the dentist's office, where I had to go to replace a cracked tooth. I don't blame the dentist. He is professional and very careful, but there is so much we don't know about how this virus is spread. Thankfully, I wasn't around anyone before or after I was diagnosed, so no one was exposed except my husband. And he continues to test negative with no symptoms.
While I was able to avoid hospitalization, I didn’t have an easy time. Thankfully, my husband was able to take care of me, and we struggled through this together. Today, with my fever gone, I reflected on how I got through some very dark times. Without any conscious thought, I was instinctively drawn to things that I know work: my gratitude practice and my version of Loving-Kindness practice.
When I felt the lowest, both physically and mentally, I began each morning by coming up with just one thing I was grateful for. That was easy; it was my loving husband. And if I could stay focused long enough, it went to being grateful for my body's ability to fight this virus. And for many days, I went through this process several times a day. These very brief moments of focusing on something positive gave me hope and strength to keep fighting.
Evenings were the worst. I had anxiety about sleeping and having crazy fever-induced dreams. The only thing that helped to reduce my anxiety was engaging in a very simple version of loving-kindness meditation. I started with long, slow breaths centered on my heart. With each breath, I began by silently saying, "May I be protected, may I be strong, and may I recover from this disease." Then I moved to focus on my husband. I said silently, "May he be protected, may he be strong, and may he avoid getting this disease." Using this warm feeling for my husband, I then moved to my friends and family with the same message. Then I went to all the people in our country and then out to the world. It gave me great comfort that I was doing a very small part to help heal the world. The effect of these brief, yet heartfelt messages was to transform my anxiousness into being in a more peaceful place where I could fall asleep.
We are all facing challenges this Thanksgiving. Some of our challenges may be significant and perhaps even life-threatening. It is understandable that we may not be feeling very grateful this year. If this applies to you, I strongly encourage you to be proactive and find something that will help move you to a more peaceful, healing, and grateful place. Not because it’s that time of the year, but because it is the best thing you can do for your physical and psychological well-being. To help ignite your efforts toward moving to a more positive, grateful place, I've included two audio practices below that you might find helpful.
I am grateful for your continued support of our efforts to share information about how we can take charge of our psychological well-being during these exceedingly difficult times. Please take care of yourself and your family this Thanksgiving.
My best to all of you.