Finding Meaning from 2020
Before we dismiss 2020 as a year we want to forget, it might be worth taking a little time to reflect on lessons learned and perhaps discover some good things about this past year. Living through loss, grief, and stress can pave the way for a greater appreciation for life and a deeper understanding of ourselves and others. This is not to say that trauma is good and we should seek out painful situations, but instead, it’s helpful to acknowledge that it may pave the way for growth and positive change. Research shows that people who find meaning from trauma:
Have a greater sense of their own strength and ability to overcome challenges.
Develop stronger relationships and have a greater sense of belonging.
Have an increased ability to show compassion for others.
Discover a greater sense of purpose and appreciation for living.
Most of us have experienced some level of trauma in our lives in the past year. While some people suffered more than others, growing from trauma is not dependent on the degree of our trauma. For example, something that is traumatic to me may not have the same impact on you. It is a personal experience.
A helpful way to make sense of the events in our lives is to begin a self-reflection practice. In its simplest form, self-reflection involves asking yourself thought-provoking questions to develop a deeper understanding of yourself. It is for you alone. A self-reflection practice does not have to be structured or something we do out of obligation, but rather a time to break from the daily whirlwind of activities. The goal of self-reflection is exploration, not necessarily finding solutions. It can help us remove mental roadblocks and better understand ourselves and the world around us.
Research shows that self-reflection can:
Build self-awareness, empathy, and cultural sensitivity (Cseh et al., 2013)
Improve the quality and impact of relationships with others (Lanaj et al., 2019)
Facilitate learning from experiences (DeRue et al., 2012)
Support deeper processing of complex problems and more effective decision-making (Guess et al., 2015)
Reduce stress and anxiety (Flinchbaugh et al., 2012)
HOW TO BEGIN
Before we launch into the new year's challenges, it might be helpful to try to make sense of our experiences of this past year. The following is a brief exercise you can use to begin your self-reflection process.
First, take a moment to find a comfortable, quiet space and have a pen and paper nearby to make notes.
Once you are comfortable, take a few slow, even breaths to release any tension you might be feeling, such as in your neck and shoulders. Continue with your breath as long as it serves you.
When you are ready, begin to ask yourself questions. These questions are simply thought starters for exploring this past year. Please feel free to change them to meet your individual needs.
What is the most significant loss you experienced?
What is the most significant gain you experienced?
What did you learn about yourself and others?
What would 2021 look like if you applied your learnings to this new year?
What words or short phrases come to mind that will serve as a reminder of how to apply your learnings?
As you reflect on these questions, don't be surprised if emotions start to arise. These may be difficult ones or even positive feelings such as gratitude.
If that occurs, allow the emotion to arise without suppressing it.
Then take a few slow even breaths and begin to explore those feelings with a gentle curiosity. You may start by reflecting on the origins of your emotions and how they currently manifest in your life.
Most of us tend to suppress and ignore these emotions. Yet, part of the healing we need from our experiences is learning to experience these emotions without judgment and suppression, giving us the ability to release our pain.
Taking a few minutes to process this past year may be the most impactful way you can prepare for 2021. Below is an exercise that might help you further develop a self-reflection process.
References
Cseh, M., Davis, E. B., & Khilji, S. E. (2013). Developing a global mindset: Learning of global leaders. European Journal of Training and Development.
DeRue, D. S., Nahrgang, J. D., Hollenbeck, J. R., & Workman, K. (2012). A quasi-experimental study of after-event reviews and leadership development. Journal of Applied Psychology, 97(5), 997.
Flinchbaugh, C. L., Moore, E. W. G., Chang, Y. K., & May, D. R. (2012). Student well-being interventions: The effects of stress management techniques and gratitude journaling in the management education classroom. Journal of Management Education, 36(2), 191-219.
Guess, C. D., Donovan, S. J., & Naslund, D. (2015). Improving dynamic decision making through training and self-reflection. Judgement and Decision Making, 10(4), 284-295.
Lanaj, K., Foulk, T. A., & Erez, A. (2019). Energizing leaders via self-reflection: A within-person field experiment. Journal of Applied Psychology, 104(1), 1.