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Recently, I overheard a supervisor in a grocery store explaining to new hires, in meticulous detail, what tasks they needed to do. You could see they were a little bit overwhelmed and maybe a little scared. Then one brave person spoke up and asked a “why” question. You could see that the supervisor was a little taken aback by the question. But luckily, he regained his composure and calmly explained the “why” behind the tasks needed to be done. He went carefully through why each of the tasks helped protect employees and customers. Once he did this, you could see the new employee’s body language shift from skepticism to “a-ha”.

During this time of uncertainty, we are hungry for information. Often times, this is a result of people communicating with urgency and not a lot of planning. In this rushed state, it’s totally understandable that our first thought in communicating is focused on what, when, and where, with little or no focus on why. But, that’s not the first thought of the receiver of information.

Think about it this way. Someone at home or work asks you to take on additional tasks. Your first thought is likely to be why do you want or need me to do this? This is especially true with tasks we would really rather not do. That’s because we aren’t likely to be very motivated to fulfill a request if we don’t understand the reasoning behind it. And the more disruptive or harder the task, the more we need to know why.

I suspect that the supervisor I overheard thought it was self-evident why the tasks needed to be done. And he isn’t alone in his approach to communication. We often overlook addressing why, especially in times of crisis, because we assume that explaining what and how is the fastest way to influence our audience. Whether you hold a leadership role at work or in your personal life, here are a few things to reflect on before you ask someone to take on a task or change their behavior:

  • You need to understand the “why” first. The answers to why may be buried deep and you may have to coax it out a bit. A good way to get started is to ask yourself a few what questions such as:

    • What are the consequences of doing this or not doing this?

    • What are the benefits of getting this done?

    • Keep asking yourself “so what” until you can’t answer it any longer. That will mostly be the root of the ”why”.

  • Then, you need to clearly articulate the “why”. Once you understand the why and have what you want the other person(s) to do clearly in your mind, follow the statement with “because”. For example, I need you to_________, because________. This is the “why” of the action or task.

  • Provide insights about other alternatives you have considered. If you think you are going to need to motivate the other person(s) to do a task, be prepared to share other ideas you considered before you landed on this option. This helps provide additional insights regarding the “why” of the request.

In summary, taking extra care in understanding and communicating the “why” is an act of empathy for the other person. When others can see that you considered their perspective and need to understand, they will be much more motivated to deliver on your request.

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