Leadership and Empathy
Hi, it’s Sue Beranek, the Director of Communications at Levelhead. You know, over twenty years ago, I remember attending my first Leadership Development Program and having a big “a-ha”. It was related to the 360 degree feedback I received as part of the program. As a new leader, this was the first time I had ever received feedback like this and this person’s comment went something like this, “Sue is a hard worker and definitely leads by example. But, she doesn’t always take the time to say good morning or even ask about our weekend. I wish she would do that more often.”
It really struck me. See, I’m the type of person that has to feel like they’ve accomplished something first before taking a break. I would see the morning social circle in the office and it would annoy me. “Get to work,” I would think. But, by receiving this feedback and digging in a bit more, I learned that the employees on my team were more extroverted. They needed a personal connection to feel energized and motivated, and this time together increased the loyalty and care they had for their teammates and their work. It was definitely a cohesive group and they saw my lack of asking about them each morning as uncaring and cold.
That’s when I realized that I needed to spend more time thinking about how others view various situations. Instead of laying out expectations that worked best for me, I needed to understand the approach that would work best for each of my team members – individually. And, of course, I needed to share more about the WHY behind my own actions.
This idea of empathy – the ability to recognize emotions in others and have the ability to feel or understand what they feel – is quite essential to human cooperation and functioning, isn’t it? I’m reminded of it again as I navigate health care decisions for my aging parents. Being a healthcare POA requires that you make decisions that THEY would want, not what you would want. And, that’s hard to do sometimes.
As Levelhead’s CEO Saundra Schrock has shared, empathy has many dimensions, but researchers think of empathy as being either cognitive or affective empathy. Cognitive empathy is the ability to recognize the emotional state of another, such as the ability to determine if they’re angry or sad. Affective empathy refers to the capacity to experience an appropriate emotional response to the experiences of another person in a way the other person feels supported and accepted. BOTH are important and can be improved with a mindfulness practice.
Empathy helps you:
Understand the needs of the people around you
Perceive the impact you have on others more clearly
Interpret the unspoken parts of communication
Prevent misunderstandings and interpersonal conflicts, and resolve them more quickly
Deal with the negativity of others, because you’ll begin to consider what’s behind their emotions, their fears, and motivation
How do you employ empathy?
There are many ways to employ empathy in your day-to-day activities, including active listening, increasing your awareness of nonverbal communication, challenging your assumptions, and reaching out to others with differing views to learn and grow. Sometimes it’s as simple as asking questions. It doesn’t require that you see things the same way as the other person. It simply requires that you understand and value their needs & emotions, and respect their right to see the world the way they do. I’ve attached two helpful Levelhead exercises to get you started - one on active listening and one on digital empathy. I hope they are beneficial as you look to grow your leadership skills in 2020.