Feeling Pressure to Be Grateful?
With Thanksgiving coming up, most of us begin thinking about all of the rituals that surround this event — the food preparation, enjoyment of the meal, and of course, the massive clean-up afterwards. Many of us also have rituals of expressing gratitude as part of the day, such as asking people to express what they’re grateful for while gathered for this special meal. For some of us who are more introverted or uncomfortable with being put on the spot, this may not help us feel more grateful. It might even feel a bit phony or like a practice that lacks substance or that we’re just going through the motions. I’m sure you’ve experienced the feeling of everyone saying what you were going to say as people took turns expressing what they’re grateful for around the table, finding yourself torn between repeating what’s been said or coming up with something original on the spot.
This year, we offer up a few fresh ideas to keep “gratitude or thankfulness” as part of this special holiday… ideas that still keep a focus on gratitude but may make it more meaningful and special for everyone.
QUOTE REFLECTION
Ask someone to lead an expression of gratitude like the one from Jack Kornfield’s book, The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace: ”With gratitude I remember the people, animals, plants, and insects, creatures of the sky and sea, air and water, fire and earth, all whose joyful exertion blesses my life every day. With gratitude I remember the care and labor of a thousand generations of elders and ancestors who came before me.”
This allows people to contemplate what they’re grateful for and provides time for a silent contemplation. You can then either ask for volunteers to offer something they’re grateful for or simply allow people to have this time for reflection.MENTAL SUBTRACTION OF RELATIONSHIPS
Try a practice often called “Mental Subtraction of Relationships”. You can ask someone to lead this reflection with everyone gathered. Here’s how it works:Take a moment to think about one person who is either at the table or someone who is not present.
Consider how and where you met this person. If it’s a family member, try to recall your first memory.
Think about all of the things that had to happen for this person to be in your life and all the things that could have prevented you from meeting this person or having them in your life.
Now, imagine what your life would be like today if the events had unfolded differently and you had never met this person. Bring to mind some of the joys you have experienced as a result of this relationship and consider how you would feel if you never had this person in your life.
Finally, shift your focus to consider all of the benefits of having this person in your life and allow the feeling of gratitude to sink deeply into your entire being.
INCORPORATE INTO A FAMILY ACTIVITY, LIKE A WALK
If your family has an activity that you do after dinner such as taking a walk, you might take this opportunity to mindfully appreciate the experience – such as noticing the colors, the piles of leaves, the temperature of the air, or the feel of the ground beneath your feet. This can either be something you do silently, or you can act as the leader or guide for your fellow walkers by pointing out what you see, hear, feel, or smell.
We, at Levelhead, are grateful to all of you who support our efforts by sharing your ideas and your actions to make the world a better place. We wish you and your family a wonderful holiday season.